I wrote this in May of 2014, right before Emma was born. Apparently, I accidentally forgot to hit “publish,” then somehow, I stumbled across it in draft-mode the other day. I thought it might be encouraging or helpful to someone who is feeling uncertain about something. 🙂
I’ve had this old hymn stuck in my head lately.
And even if you’re not a hymn person & the words sound like jibberish to you, I’m kinda hoping you’ll hang with me for a moment.
Because we just moved across the country and back within 10 months
and because I’ve made friends and said goodbye
and because we’re pretty sure we’ve learned more in 10 months than we thought was possible in 5 years
and because I’m a little bit hormonal, and a lotta bit pregnant
and I want to share this one thought.
But this one thought starts with an old hymn… That I happen to like a lot.
So just bear with me. 🙂
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking stand.
When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
When He shall come with trumpet sound, oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.
A lot of things in life are uncertain. And we have been in a season of uncertainty regarding a lot of things for a while. Maybe you have too.
The crazy thing is, you’d think that when one detail switches from ‘uncertain’ to ‘certain,’ there would be an added sense of peace. In fact, people will say to me, “Oh, it must be nice to have that figured out now.” And on one hand, yes. It’s somewhat nice to have one less thing be uncertain.
There is a brief, temporary feeling of “hmm, that’s nice to know.”
Do you know what I mean? You’ve put out 15 job applications, and you get a job. And it’s nice to know it worked out.
Or, you’ve been ‘trying’ for months, and you’re finally pregnant.
Or, you’ve been not feeling well and the doctor can explain it.
And you get this brief satisfaction from knowing that thing is resolved, crossed off your list, one less thing to think about.
But deep inside, I have noticed (and maybe you have experienced this too), that a bit to my surprise, I didn’t actually feel any different once certain pieces started to fall into place. You see, sometime around February or March, anxiety began to creep into my soul. All of the sudden, it seemed, a lot of uncertainty was piled up at once. I don’t tend towards anxiety and I wasn’t really sure what to do with it. I wrote more about that in another post, but the short version is that over the course of a couple months, God showed me how to have peace despite all the uncertainties.
So then, like I said, when things became more certain, I didn’t feel that huge sense of ‘relief’ I had been expecting. And it dawned on me – I had already experienced the relief from anxiety before before things were resolved. By the grace of God, my level of peace versus anxiety wasn’t dependent on the circumstances anymore. So when the circumstances were resolved, it was kinda nice, but at the same time, it didn’t really matter. It didn’t change how I felt inside.
And it got me thinking… if my level of anxiety/stress/peace/hope/whatever is dependent on my life and the circumstances it brings me, then there’s no point. Might as well throw in the towel now. Because life is hard. And bad things happen. And people we were counting on don’t follow through. And it could all end up being one stressful, depressing mess.
Really, what’s the point of placing hope in people, jobs, circumstances that all ultimately seem to disappoint?
But then, what if there is a hope that doesn’t disappoint?
What if we can feel a sense of peace deeper than any circumstance, no matter how rocky?
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus name.
On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…
My anchor holds within the veil.
Friend, don’t chalk this up as “your religion is nice for you, but not for me.”
This is deeper than religion.
This is about your real life. My real life. Day in and day out.
It’s about our hearts, our souls.
It’s about being able to say that honestly, regardless of what happens, my heart is at peace and my hope is secure.
And if you can’t say that, I just wonder… what are you hoping in? And is it working?
p.s. here’s a free image you can print, download, or do whatever you want with. (well, don’t sell it please…) 😉
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